Bingham High School Class of 1981 - "The Sisterhood": Breakfast at Tiffany's

Friday, September 12, 2008

Breakfast at Tiffany's - December 2007

Breakfast @ Tiffany's (B@T) December 2007 at Jim's Family Restaurant - 10600 South & I-15. Right to Left (Caesar, Randy, Lance, Rod, Gary Rob & Tim)

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The Sisterhood - A New Member Package

Welcome to The Sisterhood

An Introduction

The Sisterhood began with a couple of former dudes, stumbling onto each other via email. We found it to be enjoyable to exchange some jabs, share some insight into life and generally chit-chat. The chit-chatting became so enjoyable and extensive, that we realized we weren’t dudes anymore, and that we were actually sounding like a bunch of women. Consequently, we came to call each others “sisters”. Because we were having such a good time, we slowly started to expand the numbers of sisters involved in the tea parties. As a result of the discovered kinship amongst us through our daily tea parties, we have grown into The Sisterhood.

The key to our original success and growth, was in part due to a sincere exchange of friendship, observations of life, kindness, good humor, and an innate desire to connect or reconnect with good people in this world. The connections are seemingly like a ministry. Additional elements of our success has been regular breakfasts, attendance at sporting events, dinners and movies with the inclusion of our families. Future events will also include BBQ, golfing, cycling and camping. The list is endless.

There are those who routinely are involved in daily email communications, commonly referred to as “tea parties”. There are those who don’t email regularly, but who may come to various events that are planned, particularily the quarterly breakfasts (“Breakfast at Tiffany’s”).

The intent of this package was originally a joke, but it’s now become somewhat of a code of conduct. We try to keep it between the lines, so that The Sisterhood and it’s ministry, will live on.

The ultimate victory will be the one sister who gets to attend everybody else’s funeral.

Included in this New Member Package you will find the following:

1) The lexicon of our language; a dictionary of sorts. This has evolved over time to become a great source of pride. Be sure to study this in full. Failure to internalize these teachings will expose you to ridicule and alienation. It has grown beyond what has been included, but this is the foundation of what The Sisterhood has become.

2) The Manifesto of our Creed. This document arose during a Constitutional crisis of our Nation. The Founding Mothers were aware of the dire urgency to establish some of our core principles in an attempt to prevent the destruction of our budding community.

3) Article 1.12 of the Confederation of Sisters Entitled "Communications of a Higher Level Among the Sisterhood". This is document arose during a crisis of propriety and civility. It was established and written into law, in an effort to maintain civility in our communications so as not to destroy the good-natured and family-friendly atmosphere that The Sisterhood began with.

As a new member of The Sisterhood, you have many things to learn. First of all, we're all sisters, but we only act like we wear the pants. After all that’s been said, don’t think that we’re taking ourselves too seriously.

For emergency assistance on weekends and holidays, please call me at 435-864-5080.
President PhyllisThe Lexicon

The vocabulary of the Sisterhood is long and lengthy, so let me just offer some assistance. If anyone else would like to offer some assistance, please speak up. These are not listed in any particular order. You must learn them all.

The Sisterhood....A group of good girls, getting together for a good time.

Dippin Dot Dinner.....The Fruition of a football wager between two Sisters, because one has not the decency to feed the children. “No kids, Auntie Troyetta won’t be bringing over any Dippin Dots this Christmas”. It is analogous to Breakfast at Tiffany’s. However, chicks are encouraged to attend. Also intended to reduce the incidence of Stage III Lion development, as Sisterhood-Envy is possible. Dippin Dot Dinners can not occur during major breakout of Sisterhood-Envy.

Chicks....The dominant species. Also known as Lionesses. They are not part of the Sisterhood----but do not tell them. These are the wives, or significant others, of the Sisterhood. They are slightly more feminine than the The Sisterhood. They do not attend Breakfast at Tiffany’s, but do dominate Dippin Dot Dinners. Watch for signs of Sisterhood-Envy.

Shock Collar....Required to be worn by Fullmer, before any and all social events involving chicks and any others of that gender.

Sisterhood-Envy.....Occurs predominantly in chicks. This sickness tends to develop when the chick realizes that you’ve spent all day joking on the internet with buddies, but you don’t have a thing to say when you get home. Also possible, when you suddenly want to take them out on a date, and they realize it’s only because the Sisters want to get together. Also probable, when you break-out into laughter thinking of something from that days Tea Party, while she’s in tears telling you how bad her day was. Please seek professional help during severe bouts of Sisterhood-Envy, as this can quickly lead to Stage III Lion development.

Fullmer-Envy....No known occurrence. Possibly a mythological disease of testicularily challenged New Guinean pygmies.

The Bill....Sister Runyon’s natural-born obligation to pay.

Stage I Lions....What we all thought we were. Characterized by a “roar”. It is an illusion. A fantasy. Do not dwell upon it. It will destroy you.

Stage II Lions....What we all know we actually are. Characterized by a meek and submissive “squeek”. This reality will be self-evident during Dippin Dot Dinners, but is not to be spoken of. It is only to be observed. Pictorial representation is available upon request.

Stage III Lions....Strict adherence to maintaining the appropriate “squeek” of Stage II, can reduce the possibility of Stage III onset.

Fullmer’s Political Career.....Over. Came to an abrupt end with the receipt of written notice from a man who spent the night with Fullmer in a Las Vegas hotel room.

Ecclesiastical Careers.....Over. Came to an abrupt end for all of us with the beginning of the Tea Party-phase of The Sisterhood. Documented evidence exisits in all of our employers computer backup systems.

Tribunal....The convening of The Sisterhood to air out our differences, settle disputes and enforce the unwritten by-laws. Verdicts are reach by a majority of the responding Sisters. Punishment is sure and swift.

Pool Tool Peddler.....Sister Roberta Runyon
Insurer and Subduer Of Indigenous Alaskan Peoples....Shauna Louise

Gaydar.......Shauna introduced this to us. It's an alert that sounds an alarm everytime Troyetta enters the conversation. However, we've adjusted it to only alert when someone who's a bit more effemine than us, is discussed in a Tea Party.

Tea Party.....Whenever we start lighting up the score board on the cyber highway. When the words of love are flowing from all directions. These tend to be spontaneous.

Breakfast at Tiffany's.......Coined originally by Sister Roberta, it is a periodic breakfast that will be called whenever we feel like it. Early in the morning, and the invitation list is intended to be large. We're working on Round 3. Fullmer and I started Round 1 about a year ago. Attendance is up 100%. A gathering of good people, to have a good time, eating not-so-good food.

Cow Bell.....That loogie horking sound that flows naturally from the throat of Fullmer. It's natures way of warning chicks that Troyetta Fullmer is nearby.

I got your legs......an updated version of "I've got your back". Comes from a ritual that occures in Alaska every July 4th. Video available upon request.

Alaska.....the land of beautiful people and an independent nation. Because of the gay penquin-to-swimming pool ratio, it is not really considered to be part of USA.

Governess Palin......the finest governor in these here United States, if you believe that Alaska belongs in the US. Photo available upon request.

The King.......none other than the 'stached wonder we know by the hip moniker TJ who has ruined Fullmer's life by having fumbled away all that Fullmer holds dear. This ending of Fullmers life occured 25 years ago. If any of us were to become a man, TJ would be the model, per Rob Runyon....and Rob's not even gay.

Cinco de Mayo.....An international celebration of the liberation found in all of us through the birth of the King.

You Complete Me.......what TJ does to all the rest of us.

Chasing the little woman around the bed......a worthy pursuit dreamed of by all, enjoyed by some, and your wife will only be questioned about it by one of us. Does not occur during incidences of Sisterhood-envy.

Chasing the little woman around the skin pile.....The Alaskan Chapter version of the above.

Can of Whoop.......usual, standard meaning, but authorized and enforced by TJ within the Sisterhood.

Whoop-off.......The final showdown for all of the jewels. Entrants must be naked, and willing to wrestle. Body paint is optional. Crowns donated by Dandy Randyella, and The King.

Zug, Zug.......What one says when entering the ring for the Whoop-off.

The Crowns......Something that only Timothia Johnsdaughter and Randyella get.

Class II Fluids.......something you DO NOT put down Class I holes.

Cups Anonymous.....Inspired by Roberta's confession that she didn't wear a cup in high school football. This has spawned many a great discussion/confession....an "outing" you might say. There those who did wear them, and those that did not. Where do you stand on this subject? We're hoping to organize a weenie roast this winter, where we'll throw all of our old cups in the fire. Analogous to a bra-burning ceremony. Stay tuned.

The Manifesto of Our Creed

Hear ye. Hear ye.

The following is a pronouncement from a benevolent despot that you know as The Self-Elected President. It is a statement, a manifesto, summarizing one aspect of the principles generally espoused by the original Founding Mothers of The Sisterhood. A sisterhood that we all now enjoy the blessings of.
The four original Founding Mothers of The Sisterhood can be traced to Rob Runyon, Troy Fullmer, Tim Johnson, Phil Hailes. This fact is not to exclude any other fine ladies who have since immigrated to our shores and contributed greatly to our society and discourse. But that is the reality of our history. The contributions of these converted gentiles has been most excellent. However, speaking for the all, the principles of the Founding Mothers of this great sisterhood, include political, social, and spiritual elements that are considered to be to right of main stream Americana. This "rightness" is a fundamental principle, a creed if you will, of The Sisterhood. This is not to say that others not of our ilk are not welcome---nay they are embraced. Bring your huddled masses of liberality, and non-social norms, but remember the foundation upon which The Sisterhood is built. The foundation of political, social and spiritual rightness. It must be remembered by those who come afterwards, who have immigrated to the shores of our sisterhood, that the fundamental creed of rightness is preeminent. We allow your leftness, but not to the exclusion of our fundamental rightness.

Our rightness is not based on any specific alma mater, religion, political party nor planet of origin. It is inherited from our God and Nature's God.

In the words of the great American, Ted Nugent, "DON'T TREAD ON ME".

A Discourse on the Manifesto and it Origins

The need to declare this Manifesto of Our Creed may become more evident as our Sisterhood Nation grows.

The Sisterhood was founded on principles of apple pie, Betsy Ross, The Almighty and seeking after things praiseworthy and of good report. No apologies. No body has ever come to me for permission to say something within The Hood. A liberal, left-leaning commie pinko posted contrarian-point-of-view as though we were too “right”. I consequently published my views of the founding of The Sisterhood Nation.

Having just completed one of Jeninne's bean muffins and the sealed-plastic bottle of lime juice left on the counter by Fullmer , I jumped out of my seat, ran across the gym floor and flying head-long into the folded bleachers and found myself unconscious on the floor....I dreamed a dream. I saw the Big Seagull in the Sky, and he said, "Bob. Bob." What that means is as follows:

1) Let us be excellent to one another.
2) Let us have our apple pie and eat it too.
3) Let us love Betsy Ross.
4) Let us believe in Divine Providence and His Invisible Hand
5) Let us get-together for Breakfast at Tiffany's
6) Let all join hands and sing, "We are the world. We are the children".
7) Scratch #6. That my set the gaydar off.

Hailes Ceasar Hailes

Article 1.12

Confederation of Sisters Entitled

"Communications of a Higher Level Among the Sisterhood"

In all correspondence with the General Sisterhood, we must not send photos, videos, words, or communicate in any fashion, things which destroy our belief and worship of Divine Providence, offends any chicks, destroys the sanctity of Marriage, makes our mothers uncomfortable, or in any way causes another sister to become uncomfortable or offended. This offended sister should subtly and diplomatically declare her offence thusly allowing the offending sister an opportunity to right the wrong.

There does exist a Mercy clause. This is intended for those who did not realize that another would be bothered by the said communication. The Mercy clause states that 1) Quickly apologize 2) Follow up with message that is more in line with Uncle Sam, Mother love, Apple Pie, Jehovah and Sisters

If the offender does not seek redemption nor has any intention of seeking said redemption, they will be removed from The Sisterhood, post-haste. The proceedings will occur before a duly called Tribunal.

In defense of this declaration, with a firm reliance on Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other, our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.

References: The Manifesto of our Creed, Matthew 18: 15-17, The New Member Package.

Thank you Sister Runyon for having the courage as a Founding Mother of The Sisterhood Nation, to declare what is right and wrong. We all may cross the line at one time or another, but the others will help you back.

In plain English: Don't send something you don't want you wife, mother or daughter to look at. Sometimes, chicks do get these messages.

3 Levels of Love-Offerings Available

3 levels of love-offerings available for involvement in The Sisterhood. Perhaps some of you would prefer having your email dropped from the daily tea partiesa and just want an occasional announcement

Level 1:
The Gold, Division 1A, Celestial, The Golden EaglesRegular Tea Party involvement, reads most emails, and you don't minding getting bombed

Level 2:
The Silver, Division 2A, Terestial, The Doves of LoveYou want to be invited to the major events, but you don't want or can't handle getting your email bombed, you don't email very much, you're involved but can't play on the computer daily

Level 3:
The Bronze, Division 3A, Tellestial, The Frozen TurkeyThis is for potential recruits and those who only want to occasionally meet for Breakfast @ Tiffany's. If you're reading this email, you're not on this level

Which Level do you want to be on? The Gold Package is regular chit-chat. The Silver Package means you only get an announcement of something going on every once in a while and we take you off the daily email list

If you want to change from Gold to Silver, just speak up. Eventually, those who never respond move to Silver or Bronze. This ain't no punishment list-----I'm just trying to keep it manageable. There's no shame in changing status

Anderson, Lance
Bingham, Talin
Butterfield, Maury
Fullmer, Troy
Frost, Jeff
Hailes, Phil
Householder, Todd
Johnson, Tim
Josie, Joe
Klunker, Torsten
Herron, Rick
Kujaczynski, Rod
LeCates, Kyle
Lewis, Shaun
Margetts, Cory
Margetts, Wayne
Newman, Todd
Park, Randy
Paulk, Leon
Runyon, Rob
Stelling, Bob
Watanabe, Jeff
Wright, Mike

Antczak, James
Gust, Rod
Hogan, Dave
Morrell, Glen
Ray, Scott
Snow, Gary

Erickson, Brad
Fautin, Scott
Higgins, Gerald
Hymas, Wes
Mecham, Rick
Zervous, Mike

Varanakis, Steve

The Manifesto of Our Creed

Hear ye. Hear ye.

The following is a pronouncement from a benevolent despot that you know as The Self-Elected President. It is a statement, a manifesto, summarizing one aspect of the principles generally espoused by the original Founding Mothers of The Sisterhood. A sisterhood that we all now enjoy the blessings of.

The four original Founding Mothers of The Sisterhood can be traced to Rob Runyon, Troy Fullmer, Tim Johnson, Phil Hailes. This fact is not to exclude any other fine ladies who have since immigrated to our shores and contributed greatly to our society and discourse. But that is the reality of our history. The contributions of these converted gentiles has been most excellent. However, speaking for the all, the principles of the Founding Mothers of this great sisterhood, include political, social, and spiritual elements that are considered to be to right of main stream Americana. This "rightness" is a fundamental principle, a creed if you will, of The Sisterhood. This is not to say that others not of our ilk are not welcome---nay they are embraced. Bring your huddled masses of liberality, and non-social norms, but remember the foundation upon which The Sisterhood is built. The foundation of political, social and spiritual rightness. It must be remembered by those who come afterwards, who have immigrated to the shores of our sisterhood, that the fundamental creed of rightness is preeminent. We allow your leftness, but not to the exclusion of our fundamental rightness.

Our rightness is not based on any specific alma mater, religion, political party nor planet of origin. It is inherited from our God and Nature's God.

In the words of the great American, Ted Nugent, "DON'T TREAD ON ME".

A Discourse on the Manifesto and it Origins

The need to declare this Manifesto of Our Creed may become more evident as our Sisterhood Nation grows.

The Sisterhood was founded on principles of apple pie, Betsy Ross, The Almighty and seeking after things praiseworthy and of good report. No apologies. No body has ever come to me for permission to say something within The Hood. A liberal, left-leaning commie pinko posted contrarian-point-of-view as though we were too “right”. I consequently published my views of the founding of The Sisterhood Nation.

Having just completed one of Jeninne's bean muffins and the sealed-plastic bottle of lime juice left on the counter by Fullmer , I jumped out of my seat, ran across the gym floor and flying head-long into the folded bleachers and found myself unconscious on the floor....I dreamed a dream. I saw the Big Seagull in the Sky, and he said, "Bob. Bob." What that means is as follows:

1) Let us be excellent to one another.
2) Let us have our apple pie and eat it too.
3) Let us love Betsy Ross.
4) Let us believe in Divine Providence and His Invisible Hand
5) Let us get-together for Breakfast at Tiffany's
6) Let all join hands and sing, "We are the world. We are the children".
7) Scratch #6. That my set the gaydar off

Bingham High School Class of 1981 - "The Sisterhood"